One Day to Another

Well I had to have an extremely misleading title, but in all essence what does happen when you work in the middle of no year for twelve hours? You, A) work a lot and B) well you tend to think a lot because there is nothing to do. In fact I would probably have had this written this blog if I had some type on internet connection. but yet again I was in the middle of no where guarding a pipe line. Anyways on to the actual wordage, is that an actual word? I regress. So last night I kinda figured out where I am in life, a self proclaimed workaholic that is very lazy outside of work, is probably where I need to be minus the lazy part. Seriously I really need to remove the lazy part like its cancer. In fact as I write this I am sitting in my ice chest of a room watching "Californication." So let us see where I am not to lazy beside the periods of work. Ohhh, I am writing, something that I should do more often. I am creatively thinking of how I can make my house look better. Yes I

Mental health has become an ongoing, huge issue. It has only taken several years and major incidents, yet still isn't taken the way it needs to. The good thing is, I believe that people are finally understanding that understanding mental health importance is something we as group of individuals needs to push this to a major need. I have always enjoyed why certain things work. One of my favorite things is how the brain works. I have read several books on serial killers and how they all have a mental disability or learned disability because if being raised in a certain way. People always say "how could they do this." The fact is some of it is controllable and other parts is we as a society should have interfered and tried to give help if not to help the individual but to help the future victims. Now to the more common mental health issue that gets the majority of the screen play is spree shooters. An example of these individuals are Laughner Jared Lee Loughner to Adam L

Well here lately in the great southwest of Arizona, heat and humidity have been mashing together. By doing that outside weather can be pretty nasty and not the best. With that said calls at work have also been a little bit more interesting. People have been a lot more dangerous to other people which in turns dangerous towards me. Its funny people can always blame their moods on the weather and here lately it seem to correlate. The weather still does not give people the right to act out as they are but it is still an interesting thing to look at. So I decided that I was going to use my degree for once, you know that really expensive paper that I worked 5 years for and spent 35K on and used that knowledge to look up studies. Before I explored that this was my theory on the whole thing. Hot Weather = Violent Crimes. The longer the hot weather progresses the more Violent crimes well increase. As far as non violent crimes, I.E. larceny and vandalism, probably does increase, but not a

Ever since I was kid, rain meant so much to me. I love every aspect of rain. One of my favorite thoughts to go to is when I was hiking through Madera Canyon. As I had just hit the top I could smell the rain about to come down. I then started hearing the droplets drum on the leaves above me. As the rain kicked up more, I could hear more drumming and the drops hit me. I then just sat there near a natural spring. I then could hear the drops hit the water, I felt so relaxed and naturally happy. At that moment I felt energized and clean of the emotions I had before going up there. It is a memory that I well always enjoy and just makes me happy. No matter how I feel or what I have been through I can't help but let the rain take me over. The sight of clouds, the colors and the sounds are just amazing in my mind. Each rain storm is different yet the same results happen. The clouds slowly climb over the mountains, painting a the canvas of the sky hues of grey. Every thing seems to qui

I think the questions of fears is often brought up in peoples minds. According to the first link of a web search,  common phobias , must deal with actual items such as bugs enclosed spaces or flying. I found the list exactly what I thought it would be. I see must people reacting because of situations that cause them to be near these items. The funny thing is I never had seen any of these as a fear. The one that could have been a fear is trypanophobia, the fear of being injected. The thing is I was always nervous, but hear recently that doesn't even bother me. So where am I going here. I was recently asked what my fears were. Out of the ten listed I think the other one is death. For me that is not so. My job places me at that edge every single day. I am truly not afraid of dying rather dying before doing what I am supposed to do. I remember one of things I have always been worried about is not being able to take care of those I care about because I am not there for them. I have

I have always seen myself as the "nice guy" the guy who well be there and help out no matter what. Here lately, probably longer then that I have seen myself as something else. I thought I was just being an asshole. The thing is, I have been told I was not. As I look back I guess I have not but I do see that I have had to hide certain things away. The problem with this is the fact that its hiding who I am. I know I am a good guy, I always have been and that's who I should continue. I began to show my true self to someone and was afraid I was going to be hurt, because that is what happens, well it did. The fact is I am happy that I am that way. That is who I am but anyways. I read a letter written to the girls who choose other guys over good guy and it hits right on the nail. Shows exactly what the good guy thinks. I think the whole thing is I am who I am I might as well continue that trend. Well here is the link:  An open letter to the girl who let the good guy go H

A lot of people compare themselves to famous characters or people. I guess it's a way to show that there actions or ways they do things is, well justified. In my case I am often told I am like Leonard from "Big Bang Theory" or Ted from "How I Met Your Mother." In fact I am Uncle Ted thanks to my friends kids. As far as my self examination of why I get called Leonard is possible because I think way, way to much about things going on. I must say I can over examine like crazy, yet I don't do that at work. I also think it's because I am a nerd in both the intellect and gaming/comic thing. It could also be that I am extremely shy  when it comes to speaking to females. Now I can still talk to them but it can be very, ahhh, off I guess. Yet I am again opposite at work. I really need to figure out how to be like me at work during not work. Anyone have any ideas? (Chirp Chirp Chirp). Now as far as Ted, that's an easy one. That is just because I am a hopel

So, you fellow readers, if you actually read recent posts I have had heart ache. Yes that heart ache is probably considered nothing but to me it was something... anyways I regress. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong and what causes me to blow up into a firing ball of boooo. (As write this I am trying to make this a little funnier then how I felt the past several weeks). So my new mission now in which I do accept is to fix my short falls. I need to look at my past and see why certain relationships go wrong. I also know I need to fix certain aspects of me, mainly confidence. I am very confident in certain things such as work, knowledge and other items but with girls I fail harder then rock does at being a diamond. I don't think to much as wrong with me, but I do recognize that I go after certain things when I know the future result. That might be because I don't push my self for that next level, that level I deserve.  I also have to understand that the past is jus

As I the title states I am finally trying to climb up the hill. I rolled down pretty rough and pretty far even though it does not seem like it. I have to say I have been pretty impressed with myself on how I did not completely fall apart but I still fell. Well I think I am finally climbing the hill and once I am at the top I'll be good again. I think the main reason is I have to think of work when I am at work. Which kinda prevents my mind from going hay wire. Yesterday I was a little down after work because I just wanted to see someone and forget about the day, even though it was not that bad, and needed to relax. Once at home it was extremely quite and that did not help the situation. I made food sat down and turned on the T.V. to what ever stuff was on. As I sat there in my self loathing letting my mind go crazy and started going stir crazy. What was I going to do but sleep. The crappy thing the last 3 weeks have been a period of little sleep and waking up to thinking. Last ni

So I had been fully uncommitted to relationships for about two years beginning in 2012 until February of this year. Well February of this year I meet an amazing girl and at first I really did not see the things I liked, but then I started seeing it. Well at the end of May it all ended which for some reason hit me quite hard. When it all ended I felt like crap and yet still this day I am not sure what actually caused the dismiss but overall I still had a feeling it was my fault. For the first couple days I noticed that I put myself in a rut of pain and self loathing. I truly did not know what to do, but all I knew is that I wanted to was go back to the way I was before I allowed someone enough to hurt me like the old wounds I had received in the past. I am here tonight, sipping on a red wine watching Sherlock Holmes after going to barish restaurant to see a really wonderful singer. As far as the the barish environment was quite nice and even more so when one gets to listen to a beauti

I have really never seen myself as a "artistic"person. I may have tried on multiple attempts of drawing and playing music and I have failed at those attempts. In must part I think those are the two skills people look at to say someone is artistic. Yes, I am stating I know what people actually designate as artist, but that is only because I think that is what people see as art. Since I was never good at those items, I still had some energy to be creative. So I attempted to do other art forms. When I say other art forms I mean actual items that are considered art forms such as photography and writing. These are truly considered art forms, just to make sure that is know, but yet again I think other people out there do not consider them as that.  Anyways on to the point. I enjoy doing this items a lot. In fact when I get to spend a fairly good amount of time on them I feel pretty damn good through out the day and that tends to care over the week. The only problem with bot

So it has been a while since I have been on here to do any kind of update. * First off, got really sick had a fever for 4+ days and finally decided to go hospital and ended up getting hospitalized. * Work has had some very interesting calls (I'll save that for the grape vine) * I had my finale probationary physical and shooting qualification, and well it went good. Now on to actual writing and not a bullet point. So if you go through this blog, there is several entrees regarding certain moves and travel. I love going to new places. Even more so I love movies dealing with adventures and experiencing those new places. I am not entirely sure why I love watching those movies and why I could re-watch it but I do. I do have feeling its the fact I like adventures. New places are away to open up oneself and see what is out there. Due to the fact I really can't do that right now, movies give me that opening. I have thought so much about traveling and adventuring out to the p

So I have been watching Cosmos, currently on the 3rd show, and I have to say the more and more I watch, the more I want to get back into studying science. I do have to say I love watching this show and listening to the history of science, stories of those I have never heard and just simply introduced to all the great things science holds. What is even funnier is the fact I want to go on "pilgrimage" and visit all the great houses of all these great scientist and philosophers. I think this would be just simply amazing to see what they saw when the developed these theory's, how they lived and the simple fact of how the developed such amazing ideas. I think one of the greatest thing that I have learned is the simple fact that I think I have finally learned why math is so important, and the simple fact that I can't say I hate math why do I need it. I feel like I really need to start trying to relearn or should I see actually try to learn mathematics fully. Anyways,

So I just finished watching the first episode of the new "Cosmos." This version is narrated by one of the most prolific scientist of the last 10 - 20 years Neil DeGrasse Tyson, an Astrophysicist who has been extremely public about getting more people into science. I think he is an amazing fit to be the narrator of Prime time science show. Hopefully a show that well get more people to enjoy and understand the world, galaxy, and universe around us. As a kid, all I wanted to do was become a scientist like my dad and those people that I read about in books like Copernicus, Galileo, and many others. The only way I got to hear about new comings from science were my PBS kids shows, books or school. Unfortunately  did not grew up with a show like Cosmos, yet I succeed at being so enthused with science that my book collection is mainly that of science. To this day I still inspire to go to college and get a degree in Chemistry or another kind of physical science. The fact is, I am so

Here is another challenging January and year. This year started of with a similar as one as two years ago. The small deference between this one and the last is the simple fact I have some what of an idea of what is going on. I think this time it is even more challenging for more simply all I can do is sit back and watch. Even worse is the fact the time period is even greater and I won't know what is happening for some time. Simply the hardest part is who is affected by this challenge. This person has been my biggest fan and support and no matter what I decided on doing she has been there telling me to go for it. I know for a fact I wouldn't be even close to were I am now without this one person. So seeing this challenge affecting her, harming her and all I can do is sit there and tell her you'll do fine simply hurts so, so much. Tonight has been the hurt point, the point where I just think about the whole situation. I fell apart for a brief moment, but all I could think

As I stated in the last post of 2013 I was going to put the infamous goals to complete in 2014 and here it is. Get to 200 pounds fit. Start the process to get into Search and Rescue Finish 3 large projects on the house Save up 7 percent of pay Get back into photograph I have some what of an idea of how I am going to accomplish this goals. I know every goal is possible and easily attainable, I just have to keep up with it at all times. I am pretty sure the hardest one is getting to 200 pounds fit. The second one, process of getting into search and rescue, may take longer then one year, but I really do want push for this.  There are other goals, or dreams that I wish to accomplish but they should not be placed on the list due to the fact they may not be attainable in a set time period. I well strive for those goals much as I can in hopes to reaching them I know people make goals and hope for them, but only hold them for so long. I try as hard as I possible can to comp