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Stand strong and tall

Here is another challenging January and year. This year started of with a similar as one as two years ago. The small deference between this one and the last is the simple fact I have some what of an idea of what is going on.

I think this time it is even more challenging for more simply all I can do is sit back and watch. Even worse is the fact the time period is even greater and I won't know what is happening for some time. Simply the hardest part is who is affected by this challenge. This person has been my biggest fan and support and no matter what I decided on doing she has been there telling me to go for it. I know for a fact I wouldn't be even close to were I am now without this one person. So seeing this challenge affecting her, harming her and all I can do is sit there and tell her you'll do fine simply hurts so, so much.

Tonight has been the hurt point, the point where I just think about the whole situation. I fell apart for a brief moment, but all I could think about is my her telling me not to do that. Her telling me that she needs me to be strong for her. Just seeing her smile because she knows I will always be here, as close as I can to help her. To push me out of I grabbed a book that she gave me when I turned 21. She wrote a little paragraph in the book saying that all the works in was one of the only ways she could show how proud she was of me.

I'll admit it that I teared up badly. I thought so long and hard of how all those things she was proud of was simply because I had her support. This time she needs me to help her as much as I can and I will be there for her every step.

Mom, you'll be much better her soon and no matter what I'll stand with you while you fight. I love you mom.

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