One Day to Another

The year 2011. Began with so much hope, struck by tragedy in the early part and became quite through the remainder. As stated in the first part 2011 was to be a year full of promise. A year in which I thought a large amount of change would occur in my life, on a good note. Several months later I would find that not to be entirely true. I had just graduated from college a few days before the start of this year and was full of hope and eager to move forward. I had great friends to help through some of the challenges that I know I would endure. I was ready for this year probably more than any other year before, oh how wrong I was, and how this would be shown with eight days in the year and several times later. January 8th, the first test in my faith of the year. Not many people through out the world well remember the 8th of January, 2011, but I can almost guarantee that the people of Tucson well remember it. Several people, some of which my family knew, were shot brutally shot by a perso

For the past several months I have been going through a circle that has given me fun and pleasure but also gives the same amount in pain. In other word 50 pleasure and happiness, 50 pain. So I decided, probably a billion times now, that I need to remove my self from this vicious equation. The only problem is that I think I am out of it, and then I am right back in it. How do I stop myself from this, the only way I know. Make myself so busy that it just happens. So with that said I am starting operation busy in which I am going to reflect on all the free time I have allocate it so I am mainly buys except when I am playing games. (Everyone should know playing games is a good way to remove oneself from the world) The other "free time" is going into preparation for the future. In other other words, studying, working out, hiking, reading, and utmost self education. Also I believe one of the few time I felt really good about things was when I was always writing and reflecting on t

October has come and pasted. If you have been reading my blogs I have been going through a rough past couple months, October being the utmost difficult. I have had to give away several things, I have had to lose things through force, and I have had to lay down and get run over. When this was all happening I thinking "what have I done to deserve this." The fact is I am not the most innocent person, and my ill moral options may have caught me which I don't thing is the fact here, but rather I think this list of events is to teach me my errors and produce the next level of myself. I am becoming more understood that I need to learn who I am, I need to learn how to become this way, I need to trust myself and be confident. This is not clear as of right now, but I know that is part of the lesson I must find it myself. This world we live in one of the most complex and amazing things ever. It is a constant change no matter how our eyes look at it. The fact is things have to chang

I am sure the statement "patience is a virtue" has been heard by everyone, and told to everyone that it must be practiced. I have always though that I was really good at practicing patience, the only problem I am slowly finding out I am not very good at this practice. I guess that I need to look into the practice even more, and I need to learn it quick (Haha not patience in learning patience, I need to learn it now... Irony, I think so). Through understanding that I need to learn the virtue know as patience, I have also learned, learning a virtue is actual really difficult. This reminds me of my senior project that I had to write for my BS in which which moral theory is best, yet the paper in the end is the same as the start. It is a constant loop and when you truly gain that virtue you move up into another circle and cycle around forever until you are ready to jump to the next section. So with that said, I guess I am going to go through this learning process while I really n

Today, 10 years ago was a very sad day and a day that millions of people will never forget. Many people say its day that we as people affected by it will never forget what we were doing when the events occurred. I hold this true and do remember what occurred 10 years ago. Many people saw fear and pain from the days after that, but hope slowly started to come to peoples minds. Hope is something that is not an item, but can changes and help people defeat and move forward. Hope keeps people going, and inspires them to try for the most. People were in fear, but saw hope that would help them to push through the hard times and find the silver lining. What I took from this is that if people can get through, remember such a time, and still live a life full of hope and knowing that bad things can happen but we all must forward. I have learned that even in the rough I must try my hardest to move forward. What I have learned the must was that I have to hope best and know that not everything works

Today started off pretty good and took off from there. I woke up ready to go and felt good but still a little sad about things but that changed quite fast. I woke up ate breakfast, and got ready for my haircut (haircuts make me feel good for some reason). While I was waiting there I got an amazing text from someone I wanted to hear from. I got an immediate smile and felt so good. I continued the texting until I had to stop because of another important call. A call that may change my life for the best and made tomorrow a huge and big deal. I have to say The first half today was the most amazing thing ever. Work was the regular but because of the text earlier, work was easy for me since my mind was locked on that person with the slight thought of the big events coming very very soon. Tell tomorrow.

As the title states I am starting the rinsing process on what I have gone through. Its time clean off the harsh dirt that has gathered on me and start look towards the cleaner picture. I am still dwelling and hurting, but I think I am doing better then I was. I am trying to stand up straight and keep walking with at fault, but right now a couple steps do hurt and some do not at all. I just got to keep my mind thinking other things, and hopefully I'll start feeling better. One thing I decided to keep my mind off of things is by putting one thing on it. This items is a goal that I am going to try so hard to accomplish. Right now I don't have anything else going for me so I really need to work hard on this. Well I am done for the night and shall come back tomorrow night.

How about this another dark and depressing entry in the blog. You would think that I would try to write something, well more lively, upbeat, and well I guess with light. The only problem is that it seems that I am always looking for the dark. It seems that I search for the bad. Even though I know there is going to be an unmentionable pain, I still think I should go for it. Even though I know what is going to happen in both a professional manner and personal experience forbade it, I still move through with it. I have no idea why this happiness, but it seems that I forget how to stop it or to walk away from it. Yet again maybe falling into these errors is what I need to do. I learn from ever mistake, it helps me move forward and help me understand what is going on it my life and what I need to truly do. I know that a lot of the mistakes and dark times that I fallen into are my fault, and I need to learn how to evade those situations or at least fix them. The statement that comes up in m

What is this? This being life and how does it work the way it does. I am sure many people have asked this question over and over again. In fact I am sure that is an understatement since there are so many movies that display this question in a time of 1 hour and 40 minutes to 2 hours. So if you add all those movies together thats a lot of time spent on asking this question and surprisingly answer it. The only problem is that this answer is to make a movie work, or answer for that one person. Yet these hours and hours of movies trying to answer this question have created a way to look into an answer for ones question. How is this possible? Isn't everyones life different? Ins't the way people act different? Ins't how people go through life different? Isn't the challenges that people go through different? Yet I revisit the original question, how can others stories of life help another go through theirs? I now come to this, people are similar yes people have different challe

What is time? How do we measure it? How do we know when a set of time is completed and another begins? These are the questions that came to my mind today. According to Albert Einstein, time is not at all a constant, but rather conforms to several factors. The thing is, to most of us (in my opinion) time is constant. We see time going by second after second, fulfilling sixty of those seconds to complete a minute and so on. Yet people see time going slower, such as when a person is in detention and one hour appears to have taken the time that three or fours hours should have taken. Yes, none of this correlates to the theory of relativity, but it does correlate to the way people view time and how the mind views time. The reason why this all came about is that time is something that I, and many others may, follow. For example: It has been almost six years such a graduated college, almost four years being at my current place of work, two years since my last real relationship, 123 days since

Exploration, I don't think many people truly understand this word and how much exploration plays a role in every life. Exploration can mean finding a new place to live, or exploration of oneself. To me exploration of finding oneself and exploring new lands, new places, new people are all one thing. Each item change one another, they are all dynamically combined with each other. I have been watching so many movies about traveling and exploration, and every time I see it a long for that life, but know it won't happen for a while. For the time being though I can have other travels, travel more local but with just as much exploration as a trip a very distant land. The point is, if I am willing to move, to see new places and expose my self to these places then I am exploring myself. Something that I believe I have been evading in a stupid measure to become something I am not. The funny thing is this lesson has been placed right in front of me every time I watch these travel movies.

Over the past 3 years I have been obsessed with travel movies, travel books, but most of all imagining the places I can go. I don't believe I have ever been in such a wanting of something then the ability to get up and travel the world, see new things, enter a world of others. I think the main reason for this is that I believe it will help me find my self. Learn from others to lighten the dark corners of my life. Understand the true human spirit and why we act and do what we do. It was around three years ago when I got to see Europe and explore two counties full of culture and new ways to light up my life. The sad thing it took almost three years to realize it because my eyes were covered by a blanket known as a fake relationship. I luckily didn't forget the sights, the food, and the people that I got to interact with. I don't believe I will ever forget those item now because it means so much. I am so very thankful that I was given that opportunity to see Germany and Italy.

One of my new years resolutions is to find myself. I am a person in reality, whatever I think reality is, but I want to find the true parts of me instead of what the culture around me wants me to be. I guess that can be a little confusing so what I want to find out is the true me, not the me that is defined by others. So in order to do this I have begun thinking about things I like to do. Once this list is created I want to try everything on that list and see what happens. Actually enjoy everyday instead of dreading a day. The past five years have been a struggle of me and conforming to others. I believe its time to let me win this time. I believe it is time to "do me". I have earned it in my opinion. I have graduated from a university, I have completed many years of work, I have survived hardship of the emotional types. It is time for me to let all of this stress go and it is time to move forward and relax. I think the next couple of weeks are going to be simply put amazing.

01/09/2011 is a date that shall be remembered in this desert community forever. A day that felt normal to many, but changed the mind set of millions. 01/09/2011 challenged America to find the wrong that has been covered by other items. It had revealed that this senseless act of pain is an attack on all not just the left, right or any side but all of us. 01/09/2011 has taken our past, future and present by storm and distorted the matrix and allows us to see how far apart we are when we should be close. 01/09/2011 is a tragedy like that of other tragedies in the past. A tragedy that we all came together for a brief moment to build an environment that helps us thrive and become a coping country. The only problem is that 01/09/2011 tragedy should not follow the others, but become an event that helps the desert community, state, country, and world to understand the importance to become a thriving humanity that understands each person and comes together. 01/09/2011 shall be the date that era