One Day to Another

 January 17, 2022 Day late, but not too late to count as missing an entry. Yet again another un-notable week, which could be a good thing. I also have not found the explanation to life, why we live the way we do and the answers to the future. So, like I said nothing to big here.  So with that said. I will now write something as promised in the last entry.

 Here we second post of the year. That is two writings in a row. Some might say that is almost a pattern. Okay, I do think you have to have more than two things of the same to make it a pattern.  Anyways, this week was a full week back to work after a week off. The time off just before a new year seems like a good idea just so you can keep that whole new year new you thing. Start the whole year in a refreshed state. Work it self was too bad and people were not too bad so with that said the new year hasn't been too bad.  With a new year I have decided that I wanted to reflect on things more. I deemed that I was going to write more and read more. So far, reading has been lacking. Writing well, please see above. I am not quite sure what I want to read, not do I know what I want to write. I figured reading well come eventually, once I get a good story. As far as writing, that is going to be done here.  This first week of review does not have much to reflect on. I think t...

 January 1, 2022 Almost five years has past since the last time I put key clicks down to data and written something here. I am not sure why I stopped but I am sure it relates to a couple of reasons:       1) too busy, thanks work.      2) should I really be writing stuff or does it even matter.      3) I just did not feel like writing.  Well here I am again, trying to get a good habit at the start of a new year by writing. Lets see if I get past the record of two post for 2017. I hope to write here at least one time. I think that is a goal I should easily be able to succeed at. So all my 22 readers, I am sure is all bots do analytic readings, can rejoice.  Anyways, I am not going to put to much on this first post for 2022 just because I really don't want to write the stereotypical resolution post that I use to write. So with that said, see you on the next post.  Now here is the quote that sums up this writing and futu...

So lets talk about something near and dear to my heart. Real media to fake media. Why does it mean so much to me one may ask? Well, first off my generation is one of the last generations with physical media as the main and only media. A look to how media is now, its all electronic and almost everything is available at a click of a button. Now don't get me wrong, I think the internet has moved us ahead millions of miles and opened the world to huge discoveries, but it has opened other things too. So in order to open this conversation, I say we look into the negatives. Its like hearing the bad news first. So why is this none physical media. Isn't so nice that we can store our music, books and ability to search for everything in one place. Sure that is nice, but its also cause others to lose track on what should be know. On what they should know just in general and not what a quick Google search can bring to light. So lets go to the first media. Books being read in physica...

I have noticed I have not been writing a lot, for almost two years on this blog. I have no idea what stopped me from  putting my figures to a keyboard, but as I am typing this I am starting to remember that feeling again. I am also still trying to examine the almost two years, looking for a blame other than me being lazy. It's amazing how many things have changed though in two years. Almost all my friends are on the path to being married or are married. People have left and moved on. Jobs have changed and new challenges have been accepted. It is truly amazing. As far as me, I have changed a position at my job and have been doing some work that I can truly be proud of and love doing. My life seems to be the same, and only once in a while does it feel stagnate. I still have not moved nor found the scenery that would just lock me down and give me the feeling of never leaving. I guess that may still come. As I think about it now, I am still in my late twenties and need to venture i...

Being patience is something that seems like an almost lost idea in the world at this time. I remember when I was a child my mom and/or dad would tell me I needed to be patience about stuff and eventually it would come with hard work. I took that to heart very often, but at times I would let the thought disappear into the wind wanting stuff to happen right away. Hit me the other day that I have been drifting further the way of being a patience person awaiting and working hard to get to those goals and getting upset because things were not happening right away. I think this came to light when I was wondering why people in movies and around me in personal life and at work are not patience. At first I blamed technology solo, but I think that's just part of the issues and will be talked about later. After I began to develop that theory, I tested it against myself. What I had found was yes, in fact I did have less patience because of technology but that was just slightly the rea...

It seems like an on going thing that I am at a bar thinking about the what ifs. Why do I pounder upon these thoughts so often? And why always at a bar? I guess the reason at a bar is well there is alcohol there and there is people watching. If you combine the two you have something that I am extremely good at doing. So natural when I do those things I start thinking about other people's what ifs. Why are in this place? Is it the same reason I am here or is their life in a downward spiral of doom that the only thing to make it better is some liquor in their system. I think the later is probably an over step but still I have a feeling it does happen at times. Anyways so this night at the bar I have noticed a lot of drunk individuals some of which didn't even recognize that the are at the point of blasted, yet believe they are as normal as possible. Is that how people feel in real. In their own minds they feel that they are just like everyone else, yet in reality they are not ...

For the past couple of days I have actually found a point of quite and peace. Something that has been hiding from me for some time now. This is truly put me at ease and a relaxing feeling.  I guess the fact is stuff seems to be a place were I am finally looking past the trivial present items and see the large picture with the light at the end. It is something that I think a lot of people need to look for more often. Yet, I know that is really a difficult thing to do. The fact is a moment of peace is worth a couple of struggles. I'll push through those struggles as much as I can instead of dreading when that day would come. To be honest the simple fact that this moment came out of no where made it that much better. The fact is today, through all the calls and events going on, I was thinking of many things to write on here. The fact is I forgot them except this one thought. To be honest I am happy where I am and I know one thing about me. I well not just stand at where I am at...

     So i decided to go for a walk today on my day off, knowing that I needed to get back in to the root of who I am. This is something that I have been failing to do for sometime now and it has hit me that I think that is the cause to some of my issues of late. I really, really need to figure myself out. The though part of this is starting at the very beginning again. So this walk was going to let me figure out my plan of attack. Usually how I start this process is much like writing for me, find something or think something and go nuts... Right now I feel stuck again repeating the process of what am I doing. The only thing that came to mind immediately was the fountain on the east side of the road. You can hear the roar of the captured water streaming down the wall feeling freedom for such a brief moment, only to hit the rough ending conclusion of pool of calm tranquilly water. That pool of water slowly circling around the grey walls with nothing to look forward othe...

So I have recently upgraded my mobile computing device. I once had a very nice, fairly good spec laptop that was full of power. I have now I guess downgraded to a "tablet". The thing is I love this little power house. Sure it is not as strong as the old laptop, but with 15 hours of time with out a corded charge it pushes to awe for me. I love the fact that I can go anywhere in my house and start typing away. Yes, I mean typing full size keyboard that comes off instantly. I do not game as much as I use to but instead type, surf and read news and other items which again makes this 2 pound wonder if nicer. Only some small issues here and there but all new devices have that. Now that is a sales pitch right there... Anyways, because of this little beast I have been wanting to write again and I can just pick a nice place to sit and the words flow on the go. There is something so refreshing that I can just walk around and then start typing. Yes, I could have done that with t...

So I have failed to update or do any writing this year. I am not sure what has been the cause of this other then some small changes. A very poor excuse in my book, so maybe I should fix this issue. Well as far as update, not much has really happened. Work has been work and has been somewhat crazy. Personal life, well has been pretty good and I really cannot complain. Now outside of that, not much at all, no revolutionary ideas, thoughts, or even writing ides. Hopefully I start getting some inspiration and start piecing some positive and meaningful words together. Outside of that, I have been working extremely hard on the house and getting the backyard done. Is there relevance to these sudden topi? Yes, yes there is. The point of this is I have always wanted a garden and backyard that I could spend time in and relax. Seems to be a nice and good place to inspire and grow those words that I have been so inept in finding here lately. Plus, just having the back yard set up is going to b...

Well I had to have an extremely misleading title, but in all essence what does happen when you work in the middle of no year for twelve hours? You, A) work a lot and B) well you tend to think a lot because there is nothing to do. In fact I would probably have had this written this blog if I had some type on internet connection. but yet again I was in the middle of no where guarding a pipe line. Anyways on to the actual wordage, is that an actual word? I regress. So last night I kinda figured out where I am in life, a self proclaimed workaholic that is very lazy outside of work, is probably where I need to be minus the lazy part. Seriously I really need to remove the lazy part like its cancer. In fact as I write this I am sitting in my ice chest of a room watching "Californication." So let us see where I am not to lazy beside the periods of work. Ohhh, I am writing, something that I should do more often. I am creatively thinking of how I can make my house look better. Yes I ...

Mental health has become an ongoing, huge issue. It has only taken several years and major incidents, yet still isn't taken the way it needs to. The good thing is, I believe that people are finally understanding that understanding mental health importance is something we as group of individuals needs to push this to a major need. I have always enjoyed why certain things work. One of my favorite things is how the brain works. I have read several books on serial killers and how they all have a mental disability or learned disability because if being raised in a certain way. People always say "how could they do this." The fact is some of it is controllable and other parts is we as a society should have interfered and tried to give help if not to help the individual but to help the future victims. Now to the more common mental health issue that gets the majority of the screen play is spree shooters. An example of these individuals are Laughner Jared Lee Loughner to Adam L...

Well here lately in the great southwest of Arizona, heat and humidity have been mashing together. By doing that outside weather can be pretty nasty and not the best. With that said calls at work have also been a little bit more interesting. People have been a lot more dangerous to other people which in turns dangerous towards me. Its funny people can always blame their moods on the weather and here lately it seem to correlate. The weather still does not give people the right to act out as they are but it is still an interesting thing to look at. So I decided that I was going to use my degree for once, you know that really expensive paper that I worked 5 years for and spent 35K on and used that knowledge to look up studies. Before I explored that this was my theory on the whole thing. Hot Weather = Violent Crimes. The longer the hot weather progresses the more Violent crimes well increase. As far as non violent crimes, I.E. larceny and vandalism, probably does increase, but not a...

Ever since I was kid, rain meant so much to me. I love every aspect of rain. One of my favorite thoughts to go to is when I was hiking through Madera Canyon. As I had just hit the top I could smell the rain about to come down. I then started hearing the droplets drum on the leaves above me. As the rain kicked up more, I could hear more drumming and the drops hit me. I then just sat there near a natural spring. I then could hear the drops hit the water, I felt so relaxed and naturally happy. At that moment I felt energized and clean of the emotions I had before going up there. It is a memory that I well always enjoy and just makes me happy. No matter how I feel or what I have been through I can't help but let the rain take me over. The sight of clouds, the colors and the sounds are just amazing in my mind. Each rain storm is different yet the same results happen. The clouds slowly climb over the mountains, painting a the canvas of the sky hues of grey. Every thing seems to qui...

I think the questions of fears is often brought up in peoples minds. According to the first link of a web search,  common phobias , must deal with actual items such as bugs enclosed spaces or flying. I found the list exactly what I thought it would be. I see must people reacting because of situations that cause them to be near these items. The funny thing is I never had seen any of these as a fear. The one that could have been a fear is trypanophobia, the fear of being injected. The thing is I was always nervous, but hear recently that doesn't even bother me. So where am I going here. I was recently asked what my fears were. Out of the ten listed I think the other one is death. For me that is not so. My job places me at that edge every single day. I am truly not afraid of dying rather dying before doing what I am supposed to do. I remember one of things I have always been worried about is not being able to take care of those I care about because I am not there for them. I have ...

I have always seen myself as the "nice guy" the guy who well be there and help out no matter what. Here lately, probably longer then that I have seen myself as something else. I thought I was just being an asshole. The thing is, I have been told I was not. As I look back I guess I have not but I do see that I have had to hide certain things away. The problem with this is the fact that its hiding who I am. I know I am a good guy, I always have been and that's who I should continue. I began to show my true self to someone and was afraid I was going to be hurt, because that is what happens, well it did. The fact is I am happy that I am that way. That is who I am but anyways. I read a letter written to the girls who choose other guys over good guy and it hits right on the nail. Shows exactly what the good guy thinks. I think the whole thing is I am who I am I might as well continue that trend. Well here is the link:  An open letter to the girl who let the good guy go H...

A lot of people compare themselves to famous characters or people. I guess it's a way to show that there actions or ways they do things is, well justified. In my case I am often told I am like Leonard from "Big Bang Theory" or Ted from "How I Met Your Mother." In fact I am Uncle Ted thanks to my friends kids. As far as my self examination of why I get called Leonard is possible because I think way, way to much about things going on. I must say I can over examine like crazy, yet I don't do that at work. I also think it's because I am a nerd in both the intellect and gaming/comic thing. It could also be that I am extremely shy  when it comes to speaking to females. Now I can still talk to them but it can be very, ahhh, off I guess. Yet I am again opposite at work. I really need to figure out how to be like me at work during not work. Anyone have any ideas? (Chirp Chirp Chirp). Now as far as Ted, that's an easy one. That is just because I am a hopel...

So, you fellow readers, if you actually read recent posts I have had heart ache. Yes that heart ache is probably considered nothing but to me it was something... anyways I regress. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong and what causes me to blow up into a firing ball of boooo. (As write this I am trying to make this a little funnier then how I felt the past several weeks). So my new mission now in which I do accept is to fix my short falls. I need to look at my past and see why certain relationships go wrong. I also know I need to fix certain aspects of me, mainly confidence. I am very confident in certain things such as work, knowledge and other items but with girls I fail harder then rock does at being a diamond. I don't think to much as wrong with me, but I do recognize that I go after certain things when I know the future result. That might be because I don't push my self for that next level, that level I deserve.  I also have to understand that the past is jus...

As I the title states I am finally trying to climb up the hill. I rolled down pretty rough and pretty far even though it does not seem like it. I have to say I have been pretty impressed with myself on how I did not completely fall apart but I still fell. Well I think I am finally climbing the hill and once I am at the top I'll be good again. I think the main reason is I have to think of work when I am at work. Which kinda prevents my mind from going hay wire. Yesterday I was a little down after work because I just wanted to see someone and forget about the day, even though it was not that bad, and needed to relax. Once at home it was extremely quite and that did not help the situation. I made food sat down and turned on the T.V. to what ever stuff was on. As I sat there in my self loathing letting my mind go crazy and started going stir crazy. What was I going to do but sleep. The crappy thing the last 3 weeks have been a period of little sleep and waking up to thinking. Last ni...