Skip to main content

Orgin II

So, you fellow readers, if you actually read recent posts I have had heart ache. Yes that heart ache is probably considered nothing but to me it was something... anyways I regress. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong and what causes me to blow up into a firing ball of boooo. (As write this I am trying to make this a little funnier then how I felt the past several weeks).

So my new mission now in which I do accept is to fix my short falls. I need to look at my past and see why certain relationships go wrong. I also know I need to fix certain aspects of me, mainly confidence. I am very confident in certain things such as work, knowledge and other items but with girls I fail harder then rock does at being a diamond.

I don't think to much as wrong with me, but I do recognize that I go after certain things when I know the future result. That might be because I don't push my self for that next level, that level I deserve.  I also have to understand that the past is just that. Even though I have fear from the past I need to be *confident* and understand that there are risk to several things but I do need to learn from the past.

The other thing is I need to really discover me and stop worrying about my worth to the opposite sex. The other thing is I do need to understand there are other things that I have messed up on such as how I have screwed other over. I need to fix that, I can't expect to not get screwed by others when I am doing the same...

Anyways as for the name I see it as a re lunch in comic books. In this case Wolverine Origins II which is one of my favorites so yeah.

Ok I am done for the day err or night.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When view through a window looks bad look through another.

In yesterdays post I talked about the amount of stress that I am placing myself in and stretching myself so thin that I am actual feeling a real effect of it. I began to look at everything that I am doing and the hell that I am placing myself into which a very bad situation, one that could place my whole future in a hell. I am seeing that because I am trying to do so many things that I am actually being very shellfish and not doing the right thing. I have so much that is riding on me and yes I need to have fun, but I also need to remember there are other things that should be holding precedence over. Its time to get thing straight and see there is a definitive path in which I must follow to make sure my future at hand, the way it may happen won't be changed because of poor choices on my part. Its time to close one window, and begin to look out another to see a new view, picture, hope for the future.

In the blanket of dark, light creates itself.

For years now I have looked outside this window in my room. I have laid my eyes on the Santa Rita Mountains and have seen a different image every time I opened my curtains. My eyes have seen this timeless face change into a unique image every second of everyday for the past seven years. Through that time I have seen those mountains a far and at close. Through that time I have seen changes upon those rock formations. The four seasons bring four changes as predicated earlier. Spring season brings the new sprouts, new leaves, new young in the animals and even what seems to be new fresh start to a year. Summer brings the warmth, brings season to those of young who just arrived, and the rains of the monsoon come to prepare those for later. As those rains dissipate and the temperature begins to cool, the mountains change again. The leaves of youth fade color and start to show their age. Yellow, gold, brown and red cover the canopies and ground like a brilliant picture. The now...

Travel of the mind

Over the past 3 years I have been obsessed with travel movies, travel books, but most of all imagining the places I can go. I don't believe I have ever been in such a wanting of something then the ability to get up and travel the world, see new things, enter a world of others. I think the main reason for this is that I believe it will help me find my self. Learn from others to lighten the dark corners of my life. Understand the true human spirit and why we act and do what we do. It was around three years ago when I got to see Europe and explore two counties full of culture and new ways to light up my life. The sad thing it took almost three years to realize it because my eyes were covered by a blanket known as a fake relationship. I luckily didn't forget the sights, the food, and the people that I got to interact with. I don't believe I will ever forget those item now because it means so much. I am so very thankful that I was given that opportunity to see Germany and Italy....