I can't write my paper becuase of writters block so I am going to write...

A title that makes so so much sense. So the last week has been a true slap in the face of how much I need to buckle down again in order to succeed in school. The only problem is, I have yet to put on the belt and strap down. In fact so much that I haven't been able to get my paper done because I haven't put time aside to do it so not its 2326 and only half ways down with this paper. I think I probably wouldn't even be that far if it wouldn't have been for last.fm playing in the background. Anyways, I guess I should stop trying to think of what to write here and get back to that lovely paper I am typing... I guess...

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When view through a window looks bad look through another.

In yesterdays post I talked about the amount of stress that I am placing myself in and stretching myself so thin that I am actual feeling a real effect of it. I began to look at everything that I am doing and the hell that I am placing myself into which a very bad situation, one that could place my whole future in a hell. I am seeing that because I am trying to do so many things that I am actually being very shellfish and not doing the right thing. I have so much that is riding on me and yes I need to have fun, but I also need to remember there are other things that should be holding precedence over. Its time to get thing straight and see there is a definitive path in which I must follow to make sure my future at hand, the way it may happen won't be changed because of poor choices on my part. Its time to close one window, and begin to look out another to see a new view, picture, hope for the future.

In the blanket of dark, light creates itself.

For years now I have looked outside this window in my room. I have laid my eyes on the Santa Rita Mountains and have seen a different image every time I opened my curtains. My eyes have seen this timeless face change into a unique image every second of everyday for the past seven years. Through that time I have seen those mountains a far and at close. Through that time I have seen changes upon those rock formations. The four seasons bring four changes as predicated earlier. Spring season brings the new sprouts, new leaves, new young in the animals and even what seems to be new fresh start to a year. Summer brings the warmth, brings season to those of young who just arrived, and the rains of the monsoon come to prepare those for later. As those rains dissipate and the temperature begins to cool, the mountains change again. The leaves of youth fade color and start to show their age. Yellow, gold, brown and red cover the canopies and ground like a brilliant picture. The now...

So close to the new start

I have never been this close to attaining a goal of this magnitude. A goal that is a life time goal. A goal that is so big to me that as of today I am a whole week away from accomplishing. So many people have been asking how does it feel are you excited. The truth is I am scared as hell. I am scared of messing up and I just missed the goal. I am scared of my life changing completely because of the change that can come in accomplishing this goal. I am scared of being disappointed like have be soon many time before. Yet with all this fear I know it must be done. This is where my biggest fear resides. I have to look all these fears stair them in the eye and leap into a vast unknown. A blackness of which my hopes are not even seen. A place where my thoughts are lost and I struggle to hang on to them. This change is something I thought I would never be afraid, but because of the past I am still apprehensive to the idea. I am still apprehensive because what if the actions takes everything aw...

One Day to Another

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