I can't write my paper becuase of writters block so I am going to write...

A title that makes so so much sense. So the last week has been a true slap in the face of how much I need to buckle down again in order to succeed in school. The only problem is, I have yet to put on the belt and strap down. In fact so much that I haven't been able to get my paper done because I haven't put time aside to do it so not its 2326 and only half ways down with this paper. I think I probably wouldn't even be that far if it wouldn't have been for last.fm playing in the background. Anyways, I guess I should stop trying to think of what to write here and get back to that lovely paper I am typing... I guess...

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So close to the new start

I have never been this close to attaining a goal of this magnitude. A goal that is a life time goal. A goal that is so big to me that as of today I am a whole week away from accomplishing. So many people have been asking how does it feel are you excited. The truth is I am scared as hell. I am scared of messing up and I just missed the goal. I am scared of my life changing completely because of the change that can come in accomplishing this goal. I am scared of being disappointed like have be soon many time before. Yet with all this fear I know it must be done. This is where my biggest fear resides. I have to look all these fears stair them in the eye and leap into a vast unknown. A blackness of which my hopes are not even seen. A place where my thoughts are lost and I struggle to hang on to them. This change is something I thought I would never be afraid, but because of the past I am still apprehensive to the idea. I am still apprehensive because what if the actions takes everything aw...

When view through a window looks bad look through another.

In yesterdays post I talked about the amount of stress that I am placing myself in and stretching myself so thin that I am actual feeling a real effect of it. I began to look at everything that I am doing and the hell that I am placing myself into which a very bad situation, one that could place my whole future in a hell. I am seeing that because I am trying to do so many things that I am actually being very shellfish and not doing the right thing. I have so much that is riding on me and yes I need to have fun, but I also need to remember there are other things that should be holding precedence over. Its time to get thing straight and see there is a definitive path in which I must follow to make sure my future at hand, the way it may happen won't be changed because of poor choices on my part. Its time to close one window, and begin to look out another to see a new view, picture, hope for the future.

Open your eyes in a mirror and a whole new picture appears

So the last couple of days have been very interesting if not been some of the best days. Even they day I thought to have turned out bad really wasn't bad at all. Sometimes it takes a rain storm to clear the dirt covering your vision to open up your eyes to the truth that lies in front of you. It also might help to have people around you, show you things that you would usually over look. There is so much that each person has to them yet that individual might not even know who they are until they do something for them to notice it. Each person has been engineered to be some type of person because the majority says that is the way to be. This engineered view makes people believe that they are not the way they should be. I started to realize this when someone told me I need to have confidence in myself, I NEED to BELIEVE in myself, I am worth more then what a group of people say. This is true for every person, each of us has a quality that is unmatched by another. We have flaws that wh...

One Day to Another

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