Skip to main content

2 years done for a few months

So I had been fully uncommitted to relationships for about two years beginning in 2012 until February of this year. Well February of this year I meet an amazing girl and at first I really did not see the things I liked, but then I started seeing it. Well at the end of May it all ended which for some reason hit me quite hard. When it all ended I felt like crap and yet still this day I am not sure what actually caused the dismiss but overall I still had a feeling it was my fault. For the first couple days I noticed that I put myself in a rut of pain and self loathing. I truly did not know what to do, but all I knew is that I wanted to was go back to the way I was before I allowed someone enough to hurt me like the old wounds I had received in the past.

I am here tonight, sipping on a red wine watching Sherlock Holmes after going to barish restaurant to see a really wonderful singer. As far as the the barish environment was quite nice and even more so when one gets to listen to a beautiful voice singing very soulful songs. During that time I did think about that girl on several occasions, but for once it wasn't fully painful. I thought about the good times and how yes I wished it would continue but how maybe I still need to items such as the one I interacted in.

Once I was done with the music I ventured home to my humble a very single bachelor pad kinda wishing I was doing something more but then again I am quite happy watching my T.V. show and may I mention with some wine. The fact is I am going to be on a path of rebuilding, but have learned a lot of relationships and me. I know I have items to be worked on and that is obvious since I had to distract myself to stay away from pain. I think that I am really going to push myself on new things and better myself even further.

Anyways, my rambles are done.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When view through a window looks bad look through another.

In yesterdays post I talked about the amount of stress that I am placing myself in and stretching myself so thin that I am actual feeling a real effect of it. I began to look at everything that I am doing and the hell that I am placing myself into which a very bad situation, one that could place my whole future in a hell. I am seeing that because I am trying to do so many things that I am actually being very shellfish and not doing the right thing. I have so much that is riding on me and yes I need to have fun, but I also need to remember there are other things that should be holding precedence over. Its time to get thing straight and see there is a definitive path in which I must follow to make sure my future at hand, the way it may happen won't be changed because of poor choices on my part. Its time to close one window, and begin to look out another to see a new view, picture, hope for the future.
Post a Comment
Read more

2014 Goals, ready set go!

As I stated in the last post of 2013 I was going to put the infamous goals to complete in 2014 and here it is. Get to 200 pounds fit. Start the process to get into Search and Rescue Finish 3 large projects on the house Save up 7 percent of pay Get back into photograph I have some what of an idea of how I am going to accomplish this goals. I know every goal is possible and easily attainable, I just have to keep up with it at all times. I am pretty sure the hardest one is getting to 200 pounds fit. The second one, process of getting into search and rescue, may take longer then one year, but I really do want push for this.  There are other goals, or dreams that I wish to accomplish but they should not be placed on the list due to the fact they may not be attainable in a set time period. I well strive for those goals much as I can in hopes to reaching them I know people make goals and hope for them, but only hold them for so long. I try as hard as I possible can to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Travel of the mind

Over the past 3 years I have been obsessed with travel movies, travel books, but most of all imagining the places I can go. I don't believe I have ever been in such a wanting of something then the ability to get up and travel the world, see new things, enter a world of others. I think the main reason for this is that I believe it will help me find my self. Learn from others to lighten the dark corners of my life. Understand the true human spirit and why we act and do what we do. It was around three years ago when I got to see Europe and explore two counties full of culture and new ways to light up my life. The sad thing it took almost three years to realize it because my eyes were covered by a blanket known as a fake relationship. I luckily didn't forget the sights, the food, and the people that I got to interact with. I don't believe I will ever forget those item now because it means so much. I am so very thankful that I was given that opportunity to see Germany and Italy....
Post a Comment
Read more