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2 years done for a few months

So I had been fully uncommitted to relationships for about two years beginning in 2012 until February of this year. Well February of this year I meet an amazing girl and at first I really did not see the things I liked, but then I started seeing it. Well at the end of May it all ended which for some reason hit me quite hard. When it all ended I felt like crap and yet still this day I am not sure what actually caused the dismiss but overall I still had a feeling it was my fault. For the first couple days I noticed that I put myself in a rut of pain and self loathing. I truly did not know what to do, but all I knew is that I wanted to was go back to the way I was before I allowed someone enough to hurt me like the old wounds I had received in the past.

I am here tonight, sipping on a red wine watching Sherlock Holmes after going to barish restaurant to see a really wonderful singer. As far as the the barish environment was quite nice and even more so when one gets to listen to a beautiful voice singing very soulful songs. During that time I did think about that girl on several occasions, but for once it wasn't fully painful. I thought about the good times and how yes I wished it would continue but how maybe I still need to items such as the one I interacted in.

Once I was done with the music I ventured home to my humble a very single bachelor pad kinda wishing I was doing something more but then again I am quite happy watching my T.V. show and may I mention with some wine. The fact is I am going to be on a path of rebuilding, but have learned a lot of relationships and me. I know I have items to be worked on and that is obvious since I had to distract myself to stay away from pain. I think that I am really going to push myself on new things and better myself even further.

Anyways, my rambles are done.

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