Skip to main content

Trying to get away just to come around

For the past several months I have been going through a circle that has given me fun and pleasure but also gives the same amount in pain. In other word 50 pleasure and happiness, 50 pain. So I decided, probably a billion times now, that I need to remove my self from this vicious equation. The only problem is that I think I am out of it, and then I am right back in it. How do I stop myself from this, the only way I know. Make myself so busy that it just happens. So with that said I am starting operation busy in which I am going to reflect on all the free time I have allocate it so I am mainly buys except when I am playing games. (Everyone should know playing games is a good way to remove oneself from the world) The other "free time" is going into preparation for the future. In other other words, studying, working out, hiking, reading, and utmost self education. Also I believe one of the few time I felt really good about things was when I was always writing and reflecting on things. I really need to get back to that.

So with that said watch out coffee shops, Justin is coming back. Non-Party bars you watch out too, I need good tasting beer to keep me on the path. To all my friends who like to party, sorry I am going to disappear as much as I did in school. Lets see how long this lasts ><

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When view through a window looks bad look through another.

In yesterdays post I talked about the amount of stress that I am placing myself in and stretching myself so thin that I am actual feeling a real effect of it. I began to look at everything that I am doing and the hell that I am placing myself into which a very bad situation, one that could place my whole future in a hell. I am seeing that because I am trying to do so many things that I am actually being very shellfish and not doing the right thing. I have so much that is riding on me and yes I need to have fun, but I also need to remember there are other things that should be holding precedence over. Its time to get thing straight and see there is a definitive path in which I must follow to make sure my future at hand, the way it may happen won't be changed because of poor choices on my part. Its time to close one window, and begin to look out another to see a new view, picture, hope for the future.

So close to the new start

I have never been this close to attaining a goal of this magnitude. A goal that is a life time goal. A goal that is so big to me that as of today I am a whole week away from accomplishing. So many people have been asking how does it feel are you excited. The truth is I am scared as hell. I am scared of messing up and I just missed the goal. I am scared of my life changing completely because of the change that can come in accomplishing this goal. I am scared of being disappointed like have be soon many time before. Yet with all this fear I know it must be done. This is where my biggest fear resides. I have to look all these fears stair them in the eye and leap into a vast unknown. A blackness of which my hopes are not even seen. A place where my thoughts are lost and I struggle to hang on to them. This change is something I thought I would never be afraid, but because of the past I am still apprehensive to the idea. I am still apprehensive because what if the actions takes everything aw...

Orgin II

So, you fellow readers, if you actually read recent posts I have had heart ache. Yes that heart ache is probably considered nothing but to me it was something... anyways I regress. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong and what causes me to blow up into a firing ball of boooo. (As write this I am trying to make this a little funnier then how I felt the past several weeks). So my new mission now in which I do accept is to fix my short falls. I need to look at my past and see why certain relationships go wrong. I also know I need to fix certain aspects of me, mainly confidence. I am very confident in certain things such as work, knowledge and other items but with girls I fail harder then rock does at being a diamond. I don't think to much as wrong with me, but I do recognize that I go after certain things when I know the future result. That might be because I don't push my self for that next level, that level I deserve.  I also have to understand that the past is jus...